Golden Gate 10 – Follow Up
In lesson 10 we learned to develop qualities which remove the obstacles which have been getting in our way.
It is important to give most of our attention to the quality we want to develop; not on the habit or obstacle we want to remove. If we want, for example, to replace procrastination with decisiveness then we need to have most of our attention on the quality of decisiveness. Once we have looked honestly and squarely at how procrastination, or whatever our main block is, has got in our way then we shift our attention onto decisiveness and how much we want to embody that quality and give little or no thought to procrastination. We reward ourselves using the Victory Box for every time we express more decisiveness, or whatever quality we are working on.
We speed up this process by thinking to ourselves. “How will this new quality help me? How will I change? How will I be different? How will I stand? How will I walk? What kind of things will I say?” See yourself as fully embodying this quality and expressing it easily and gracefully both in the ordinary situations of daily life and in more challenging situations.
When on your own you can even explore moving in different ways to express your chosen quality to see how that feels. For example, walk with decisiveness, stand like a decisive person and so on. It is fun to do this so let it be fun. You can look in the mirror and make different faces that express the quality. Explore the quality and play with it to help make it part of you. Try it on for size by seeing how far you want to go with it. Take it to the extreme and then pull back till it feels just about right.
Next time you are walking somewhere whether for leisure or purposely give yourself a little extra time and explore bringing a specific quality into how you walk. If you want to be more mellow and want to calm yourself down, try slowing your walk slightly and being gently aware of who and what is around you. If you want to cultivate qualities of boldness and confidence, try bringing just a little of that quality into how you walk. Explore walking just a little bit more boldly, or just a little bit more confidently. Of course you practise in an area where it is safe to do so.
As you learn to embody a particular quality you will attract things that will help you and will attract people who will help you too. You may come across a book, or an article, which has the life story of someone who expressed that quality, or you may find yourself noticing it and admiring this quality in others. Previously you might have felt daunted, or on some way threatened by such people, but now you will see them in a new light and feel that you have something in common.
You may even notice that there is already someone in your life who expresses the quality you are developing, but does it in an out-of-balance way. You may notice someone (carrying on with our earlier example) who is overly decisive in that they do not allow themselves time for quiet reflection and are always in a hurry to make up their mind and “get on with it”. Or, if these are the qualities you are working on, you may notice someone who takes the quality of boldness into folly or the quality of confidence into arrogance. These are simply reminders to not overdo it and that we must always look for balance and not go to extremes. Even a good quality, if not balanced by other qualities, can bring mixed results. However, in getting the feel for a particular quality we need to exaggerate it a bit in the early stages. It is just part of learning and if we do this consciously, no harm will be done.
Keep the image of your new self, expressing this quality in a happy balanced way, firmly in your mind. But don’t get too serious about it (unless seriousness is the quality you need) and remember to be playful.
Working with qualities is very powerful as you are changing your image of yourself. You are changing your Self Image and allowing your True Self and your true power and potential to emerge. The self you used to believe yourself to be largely grew out of what others thought and believed about you (and what they thought and believed about life and about other human being in general). You are now exploring and discovering the wonder of who you really are – independent of the opinions and limitations of others – and allowing this to develop.